Soy Fail

This feast day known as Sunday was by all accounts normal.  I spent the morning making espresso based drinks followed by a quick trip to the vinyl store near the shop, followed by the purchase of a Charles Mingus album, followed by a nap due to the exceedingly early morning I had.  After the nap I was uber hungry and was in need of something to give me energy and nutrients.  Enter the following:

I had procured these tasty treats from my local Community Natural Foods, home of vegan friendly advice and awkward soy based products.  For some reason unknown to myself I really wanted to try vegan cheese.  It might have something to do with my desire to suspend my vegan reality for a moment in an attempt to indulge in glorious tastes and textures before my alloted Lenten experience is over.  

As tradition of my own making dictates, I will consume a beer made by monks on the Sunday Feast Day.  This week is a brew that I had been waiting to try since the beginning of Lent.  I have never had this beer before, I had it's little brother a few months ago with my Belgium Triple lover roommate Ben.  This week was the older and wiser brother of the triple, it was the Quadruple from Koenigs Hoeven.  This beer was a formidable force that shocked me with complex layers of taste that left me searching for what else I had yet to taste.  Aside from the general maltiness of this monster, it had a great summer fruit type taste.  Think strawberries and raspberries.  It was delicious.

Since fermented barley and soy should not be enjoyed alone, I invited friend Steph over to enjoy the fermented soy and barley extravaganza.  I fried up the Tempeh while secretly hoping that this would be the burger like substance I had been craving for so many weeks.  I sliced the "cheese", portioned the lettuce, and prepared my bun for excellence.  Omnivores everywhere cringed as I took that first fateful bite.  The first bite was really enjoyable. I blame this on a number of factors: I was hungry, I still had some beer taste in my mouth which in itself is delicious, I was tasting my homemade ketchup and my moms Christmas relish before actually getting to the "burger" and the "cheese".   Subsequent bites were of less enjoyment factor then the first.  It still had the excellent multifacetedness of a well crafted burger, but lacked in two of my favorite areas.  You got it, texture and flavor.  

Though the "cheese" had a little cheesiness, the texture was closer to an under ripe avocado then to actual cheese.  The "burger" had good "Barbeque" flavor.  However, as it came to the end of the meal, the portions left were quite dry and lacking in, how can I describe it, oh right, Meatyness.  I was heart broken, my dreams of living out this vegan adventure in style were shattered, my palate will never be the same.  But it's all for the experience I guess.  

The thing that bothers me is that these companies are trying to make something that is exactly like a product that actually exists in the world, just without the one thing that makes the non-vegan product so special, animals.  Trying to imitate a product seems like a sad attempt to make life more enjoyable for those who have chosen to live their lives a certain way.  If you are going to give up meat and dairy, then know that you are giving up some of the best things ever domesticated by man.  Don't try and substitute with soy something you gave up.  

If the last para seems a little harsh, I guess it is.  The first few weeks of Lent were a challenge due to the amount of cooking I was doing, and the amount of thought that had to be put into everything I was eating and doing.  Over the last two weeks I dipped into the world of pre-made vegan food and it has been disappointing.  It's a combination of cravings and of weariness of trying so many new things and getting mixed results with regards to taste and texture.  I am frustrated with the Vegan way of life, with the lack of woolen sweaters, the lack of cheese, and the lack of iron rich beef.  Only 13 more days.  I am confident that I can make it, but it might be the biggest struggle of the experience.